Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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