well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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