Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
