The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Someone signed my nipple.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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