I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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