What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
