so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
