Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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