white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
