i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
