too bad you live with your parents still
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
