its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize