I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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