lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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