Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
