I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
