everyone is single if you try hard enough
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
