I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
