he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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