Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
