Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
