just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
