Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
