I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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