I'm gonna have a badass scar
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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