If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
