why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
