I never want to see another naked old woman again.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
