all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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