My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
