The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
