When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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