went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
