Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
