the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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