How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
