My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
