You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
