I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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