who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
