I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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