Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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