Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
