And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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