Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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