4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
