you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
