as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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