I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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