Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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