I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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