Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize