Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
