i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
