Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
