She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
