I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
