I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
