before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
