Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she told me i tasted like america
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
