I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
