I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
