is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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