I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
